The Trophy Husband

Meet George (aka G and Fatso):

I met George, my trophy husband, in 2003 while I was a 2nd year law student.    I had no idea how old he was and was shocked when he told me he was old enough to be my father.  I guess his physique is deceiving.

At University of Oregon,George does not run.

He grew up in Chicago and moved to Los Angeles when he was 16.  He lived there until he was 45, when he moved to Oregon to follow wonderful me.  However, I think the LA lifestyle took very strong hold of G and I don’t know if it will ever leave.  He loves cars, clothes, designer everything and pretending he’s rich.  This is a constant battle.

Fortunately for me, he doesn’t act like a typical 50 51 53 55 year old (more like a teenager).  He prefers to take pictures with his shirt off, loves changing his clothes in public and will say yes to any photo op.  Sometimes, I think he believes he’s a celebrity, which is weird.  But I’d love to have the paparazzi stalking me.

One of his favorite signs in Palm Springs:

He probably doesn’t believe he’s living the trophy husband life because he has a full-time job.  However, because I still have to work, I try to pimp him out as often as possible in order to make my dream come true.

One of the good things about marrying someone a couple decades older than you is that you can make fun of him for pictures like this:

This makes me question G’s sexuality…just a bit.

Ha!!  Hilarious.  I love making fun of G, but he’s a good sport and dishes it right back.  Just ask him to do an impression of me (please don’t).

I’m proud to say I’m his first wife (and hopefully his last).  He has two boys (yes, I think he was a big whore before he met me, but I try to pretend I was his first love…the boys make this a little difficult).  Needless to say, I am a step-mom.  Luckily for the boys, they never had to live with me and I haven’t had to do any real child-rearing.

Michael, G and George III

Making life a little more interesting, George III is 26 27 31.  5 years younger than me.  A little weird?  Yes.  Just adds to the “interesting” family.  It makes us laugh.

Because G has a little more “life experience” than I, it takes a lot for him to become worked up about something.  I am the crazy one.  He is often described as nice and friendly.  People seem surprised when they meet me and then meet him…like they wouldn’t think I’d be married to someone nice.  Interesting.

For all the bitching and complaining I do, I have to admit he is a nice guy…and look how cute he is holding my flowers at our wedding!

Don’t worry, I will still write embarrassing posts about him.  He needs way more than one post.  Look for upcoming posts about the Shake Weight, soap operas and grooming.  George is going to regret this whole blog thing.

11 Responses to The Trophy Husband

  1. Found you on SR and am stopping over to say hi. That’s quite the pair of shorty shorts on your man there. A nice shade of teal too. That picture alone will keep me reading. And I thank you.

  2. I never got this whole marrying a guy much older thing, which is weird considering my parents are 18.5 years apart, and been happily married for well over 30 years (they still hold hands when we go out in public which used to mortify my brother and I). My mom is now one of my half-sister’s closest friends, since their age is not too far apart. For me? I like them my age, but if my parents are an example — you’ll have many years of happy life ahead of you! (And my mom keeps my dad young! Nobody believes he’s now on his mid-70’s!)

  3. LOVE that last picture- he looks SO happy 😀

  4. I refuse to believe he’s 50! I adore your family dynamic. Keep it coming! Now you both need to adopt an Asian child and really make people look twice!

  5. Jenna says:

    Wow, your husband doesn’t look anything near 50! That’s a tight body right there!

    LOVE your blog btw!

  6. Sam says:

    HAHA- what a family dynamic.
    i would love to sit in on a typical family dinner!
    stopping in to say HI after your guest post for SR!

  7. Sierra says:

    I loved your guest post on SkinnyRunner, and I love your family dynamic. My husband is South African and my favorite joke to play is to tell people that I don’t know or just meet that my husband is African, and see their expression. The confusion is priceless. People think he is either black or a racist, but he is neither, just a WASP that is a giant! Please post more pictures of G’s questionable fashion, the color block silk shirt was un-real.

  8. brinn says:

    I love your blog! you and G are too much. I crack up every time.

  9. This was THE funniest thing I have ever read. You need your own tv show… starring your husband in those cut off jean shorts.

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